What is Internal Family Systems and why is it great for treating Trauma?
Background:
Internal Family Systems was created by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the mid 1980s. The approach teaches that we as human beings are complex and made up of multiple parts or sides. IFS believes that humans have protective inner parts (Managers and Firefighters) who developed in response to wounded parts (Exiles) that experiences pain and trauma. IFS also believes we all inherently have a core Self made up of several wonderful qualities shared below.
“All Parts Are Welcome”
Core concepts:
The Self: This is who we are before all the pain. When we are Self-led, we inhabit the following qualities:
Connected
Clarity
Compassion
Courage
Confidence
Calm
Curious
Creative
Exiles: The parts of us that experienced trauma, pain, and adversity. Because exiles hold onto our often overwhelming pain, we “exile” them away because we don’t want to feel their pain and we expect that if we do connect to their pain, we will be too overwhelmed to function. Exiles are often “frozen” in time when they were created in our lives. When exiles can’t be contained by our protective parts, we often feel transported back in time, feeling, believing, and responding in ways we did at the age in which the exile was created.
Managers: The parts of us that developed in response to our pain that try to prevent the pain from re-emerging. Think of our perfectionism that prevents a sense of failure or unworthiness. Or the people pleaser part of us that can’t bare to feel rejected or alone. Managers always have positive intentions for us and ultimately want to protect us, even if their methods may be unwise or misguided.
Firefighters: These parts of us jump in when our managers can’t contain our exiles’ pain. Firefighters use more extreme methods to push our exiles back down. Firefighters may use drugs, alcohol, self-harm, dissociation, or even suicidal ideation to extinguish the pain that’s burst through our managers’ defenses.
Goal:
The goal in IFS is to work alongside ALL of our parts to unburden exiles, relieve managers and firefighters so they can adopt more adaptive roles, and live our life being Self-led.
Why Address Trauma With an IFS Therapist ?
When connecting with our exiles, managers, and firefighters, it can be hard to sort through and separate from their trauma and perspectives. In IFS, it is common for clients to feel like they are “blended” with their parts. A person is blended with their parts when they completely believe the perspective of a part and act on it.
Think about a moment where you were triggered by an interaction with someone who reminded you of the childhood neglect you experienced. Maybe a people pleasing protector jumped in to try to avoid re-experiencing the rejection and loneliness of your inner exile who experienced your childhood neglect. When you are blended with the people pleasing part, you may fully believe it’s perspectives because it feels urgent to avoid your exile. However, with the help of a therapist, you can “unblend” from the people pleaser to more clearly understand what the situation is triggering in you and respond from Self.
By a therapist facilitating the compassionate witnessing of your both your protectors and exiles, clients truly reconnect with who they are at their core and build relationships to all their parts that allows for deep healing to occur.
If you’re interested in working with me and experiencing IFS, contact me here. I’d be grateful to support you.
